Who Else But a Narcissist Can Make You Feel So CRAZY?
THE NARCISSIST (SOME LETTERS WE HAVE RECEIVED)
By Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru
ON BEHALF OF A NARCISSIST'S EX - SOME LETTERS WE HAVE RECEIVED
"But would you help me out with something. I have broken up with the sociopath. He doesnt live far from me, and flaunts his new conquest in my face. I shouldnt phrase it like that because I really dont care who he is with. I know what she has and I dont want it. Why, why is he so hell bent on trying to hurt me? Why am I the enemy? He tells people how he has "come back" financially since our breakup. And from the outside looking in. He has. But he stepped all over ME to get there. This man didnt have a pot to piss in, let alone a window to throw it out of. I have moved on and am trying to rebuild my life, financially and emotionally. He tells people how crazy I am, and how he could never have anything while he was with me. Okay, fine, more lies. But he also says that he is going to see me behind bars in jail. I have to tell you that whoever this man talks to HE is believed. Why does he want to send me to jail? Why does he want to destroy me? Why am I the enemy and those people who really used him and never gave a damn about him, does he give the appearance (because I know NOTHING is real with him) that he would damn near lay down his life for them?
"I went to your website and have been searching websites trying to find the answer to this question. I know it is nothing that I have done. But is there something that I can do. I can't leave town because I have a child that has another year and half in high school. Please help me or refer me to where I can find the answers. I got the book about sociopaths from the library it helped but did not answer the question.
"I am feeling pretty desperate because everything that this sick crazy man has tried to do to me, he has been successful. No matter how outrageous the lies told against me were.
Wow, you sound like an exact ditto of me - only I did take my daughter (who had one year of high school left) and moved to another town. SHE LOVES IT !!!
I know how much it hurts to be made to look like the bad guy, when the absolute opposite is the truth. Just remember that everything about a narcissist is an accumulation of his lifelong study of how to fool people...yes, he can easily fool these people BUT it is because he has made it his life-priority to learn how to manipulate people. And people can easily be manipulated by such a pro. Hell, even you were fooled by him (in the beginning), right? That is his job. In order to be a narcissist he must convince people to believe in a falsehood - and he is the falsehood.
If the narcissist is going so out of his way to manipulate people against you and to make you look so bad it is only because he knows deep inside that you are BETTER than him - and this he can't have! NOBODY can be better than him, so he must somehow devalue you in order to 'revalue' himself and let go of you. He needs to save face, and he can't do that if he turns out looking like the bad guy. Unfortunately, a narcissist sees a relationship as a 'competition' or a 'battle'. When the relationship is over, it's not a mutual break to him, but a ceasefire - so now there must be a 'winner' and a 'loser'....and the narcissist will NEVER be a 'loser' so he must demonize you in order to emerge the victor. It's all a sick game with him, and you must actually feel sorry for a man that is that empty inside that only his 'impression' on others is real to him.
Thank you for your letter. May I post it? It is very helpful to let others know that they are not alone in how they feel.
"OMG!! Thank you soooo much for getting back to me this quickly. It feels sooo good to know that there are people out there who UNDERSTAND and who care. YES you may post my letter, if it helps ANYONE my insides will be filled with emense joy!
Click here for LETTER #2
For more information on surviving a narcissist read my digital reports about my own, ten-year experience of living with a narcissist here, at my narcissist advice website, Breaking Up With Your Narcisist
Breaking up with a histrionic narcissist? Be prepared for the battle of your life! While you are an emotional basketcase, he is as Cold as Ice! While you are left holding down the fort and dealing with the real-life responsibilities, he walks away from everything leaving you to mop off his stage and pay his bills. He will punish you in ways you couldn't possibly have ever imagined...
....and not even acknowledge it to himself! Why? Because he's off charming the socks off of new women as if your years together didn't even exist!
The narcissistic ex continually acts in abusive, bewildering and confusing ways. He is not above committing destructive acts. When the breakup becomes a reality, it is likely that his 'false persona' will completely disappear all together and you will most likely experience the most hurtful of behavior from him. He is completely lacking in empathy, and - since he is not receiving any admiration from you anymore - he will dismiss you and discard you as worthless to him, consequently dropping any fake front that he once fabricated in order to keep you in the relationship. Click here to read our 'Breaking Up & Dealing With a Narcissist' downloadable pdf ebooks brought to you by Tigress Luv.