The Partner With Narcissistic Issues: Handling Rejection and the Narcissist
REJECTION FROM PARTNERS WITH
'ISSUEs' or with narcissism
By Tigress luv, The Break Up
When we are rejected from someone
we care about - especially if that someone has 'issues', faults, flaws, or
personality disorders, we tend to take the rejection especially hard.
I think what really tears us apart is the blow that this rejection leaves
on our ego. We tend to subconsciously value ourselves through our partner's
'acceptance' or 'non-acceptance' of us. So if he or she rejected you for
another, we take it personally - believing that somehow we, ourselves, are
flawed. It is hard for us to understand that their rejection of us has NOTHING
to do with our value as a human being. He/She is not the judge of mankind,
so take away that title from them!
When people have personality flaws they tend to be a little 'off' in their
way of thinking. Unfortunately, since we are not 'off' in our way of thinking
we tend to believe that everybody else thinks as rationally as we, ourselves,
do. When this happens we try to place sane reasons and actions to people
who have 'issues' and then we, as 'normal thinking' people, start to question
ourselves, our value, and our worthiness. We don't understand that it's their perspective of us that is askew and not us, per se.
REMEMBER that there is no making rational sense out of the actions and thoughts
of an irrational man or woman - in other words, there is no trying to make
sense of the senseless. It just isn't going to happen!
You must please stop trying to place a meaning to his or her madness...as
there really isn't any. You can't explain away the actions of those who are
'out of kilter' in their thought process and you certainly shouldn't take
it as a real or personal rejection.
Especially when breaking up with a narcissist.
Narcissists tend to leave relationships totally unscathed and quickly move
to a new relationship showing an instant and extreme happiness with their
new life and partner. We tend to react to this 'new happiness' of theirs
as a sign that we were somehow 'flawed' and unlovable.
What we are actually doing is 'reacting' to his or her new-found happiness
by stealing away our very own. We become super unhappy that they could so
easily walk away from us and are so unmoved and untouched by the experience.
What we fail to see is that their new happiness will be short-lived - it's
a temporary 'narcissistic supply' and it will leave them feeling good for
a while, but it won't leave them feeling normal ever.
Breaking up with a histrionic narcissist? Be prepared for the battle
of your life! While you are an emotional basketcase, he is as Cold as Ice!
While you are left holding down the fort and dealing with the real-life
responsibilities, he walks away from everything leaving you to mop off
his stage and pay his bills. He will punish you in ways you couldn't possibly
have ever imagined...
even acknowledge it to himself! Why? Because he's off charming the socks
off of new women as if your years together didn't even
ex continually acts in abusive, bewildering and confusing ways. He is
not above committing destructive acts. When the breakup becomes a reality,
it is likely that his 'false persona' will completely disappear all together
and you will most likely experience the most hurtful of behavior from him.
He is completely lacking in empathy, and - since he is not receiving any
admiration from you anymore - he will dismiss you and discard you as
worthless to him, consequently dropping any fake front that he use to put
up in order to keep you in the relationship. Click here to join us at our 'Breaking Up & Dealing With
a Narcissist' community brought to you by Tigress Luv
Women, especially, become more attached to men with psychological disorders. I think that one reason
women become so attached to the man with psychological disorders, or why
they grieve so much after leaving him, is their intense need to just have
had this man ONE TIME accept them and love them in a normal and gentle way.
They probably have never received this from him, and to have never received
this must have been be very damaging to their sense of worth.
These women were (and still are)
starving for their partner's love, and their egos and pride feel bruised
by the fact that they were not 'special' enough to cure all his delusions
and bring him to his 'senses'. They feel less than, and lacking in attraction
Because women tend to value themselves through the happiness of their
partners and their family (men tend to value themselves through their career
and their accomplishments), they more strongly attach to a man with personality
issues because they want so badly to be accepted, loved and appreciated by
him, and to see that they have made him happy.
For more information on surviving a narcissist read my digital report about my own, ten-year experience of living with a narcissist here, at my narcissist advice website, BreakingUpWithYourNarcisist.com
(Join Tigress Luv's 'breaking up with a narcissist' online support group now, and get all her reports on the narcissistic-ex FREE!)
The Break Up Guru, has been writing on breakups and
narcissism since the 1980's.
Visit her website at: http://www.tigressluv.com
Articles on Narcissism, and Narcissist
Glass Slipper Publishing All Rights Reserved - Breaking up with a narcissist
- How to break up with a man who has narcissism, support and symptoms
Questions? GlassPublishing at aol.com
Lifted Hearts Network - relationship support