Painful Breakup with a Narcissist

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One woman's journey through the lying and the cheating.

By Margaret (Peggy)

I am in the middle of a painful breakup with a narcissist. We had been together (if you can call it that) for 2-1/2 years. He is particularly cunning and deceptive, really did a lot of things for me, gave me things and money, helped me and my son out a great deal. But he is a liar, cheater and really doesn't care about me. He says nasty things and then claims not remember what he said. I broke up with him three weeks ago and he calls me every day, dealing out more pain and nastiness.

As time has passed, he has started calling me more and more, three, four times daily. During the relationship he rarely called me. Sometimes I answer, sometimes I don't. He probably needs his "fix." He called me this morning fake crying, saying that he realizes what he did to me, but of course offering no apology, no insight, no understanding of the incredibly insensitive thing he did to me. (He promised to take me to the doctor for an important medical procedure and cancelled at the last minute, forcing me to scramble to get another person to accompany me. He acted like it didn't matter. He then told me after I broke up with him that he didn't care what was wrong with me. It was the second time in two weeks he had done this.)

I told him I was tired of his lying, cheating with other women, his broken promises, his "forgetfulness," the nasty, mean things that come out of his mouth, the way he doesn't own up to the things he says and the consequences thereof, the way he acts like it's always somebody else's fault when something bad happens. When he starts with that negativity, I hang up on him. I'm still attached in some way, that's what the narcissist does to you.

This man doesn't understand karma. For the past two years, he's been dealing with a series of bad things happening to him, his finances, his properties, and his drinking has gone out of control. Yet he will never make the connection to how he treats poeple. Now I know he deserves everything that's coming to him. He is actually delusional in believing that all his "other women" still love him. Actually, this is small town and a lot of folks thinks he's a piece of shit. He begs me to be his friend. Not only is he NOT my friend, he is truly an enemy. I feel like taking revenge but that would create bad karma for me, but God, I could destroy him if I wanted to, teach him a good lesson. I know everything about his financial house of cards and fake lifestyle.

Luckily, I have a life, thank God, but I opened myself up to the wrong person. He saw my neediness and took full advantage. He is jealous of me, is not really supportive, and God, how he lies. When I think about us getting back together, all I can think of now is how little I trust him, how his words mean nothing to me, how I need to get on with my life and find someone who truly is capable of caring about me.

I actually made a list six months ago of the things I didn't like about him (it took up two pages), and when I read it, my love for him just like went away. I didn't share it with him (I knew he wouldn't care), but I think he felt my pulling away. Hence the nasty ambush behavior. Interestingly, he became more generous in the last few months than he had in the past, but I was unimpressed. Guess that makes me a user, but he deserves it plus more.

A sore point with us was the fact that he always wanted me to use protection with him. I can't enjoy sex with a rubber, makes me feel cheap (a crazy delusion, I know). I told him I wasn't going to let him treat me like a whore (even though he did). I've always had myself checked, and I have no diseases. He told me after I broke up with him that not using rubbers really killed his sexual desire for me, and I could see how this had been true all along. It was his cheating that he was worried about, and I told him if he was using rubbers with the others, we should have no problem.

Anyway, that's my story and I hope others can identify with it. I'm really feeling crazy inside, but I know being away from him is the right thing to do.

For more information on surviving a narcissist read my digital reports about my own, ten-year experience of living with a narcissist here, at my narcissist advice website, Breaking Up With Your Narcisist

Surviving a Breakup with a Narcissist

Free CSS TemplatesBreaking up with a histrionic narcissist? Be prepared for the battle of your life! While you are an emotional basketcase, he is as Cold as Ice! While you are left holding down the fort and dealing with the real-life responsibilities, he walks away from everything leaving you to mop off his stage and pay his bills. He will punish you in ways you couldn't possibly have ever imagined...

....and not even acknowledge it to himself! Why? Because he's off charming the socks off of new women as if your years together didn't even exist!

The narcissistic ex continually acts in abusive, bewildering and confusing ways. He is not above committing destructive acts. When the breakup becomes a reality, it is likely that his 'false persona' will completely disappear all together and you will most likely experience the most hurtful of behavior from him. He is completely lacking in empathy, and - since he is not receiving any admiration from you anymore - he will dismiss you and discard you as worthless to him, consequently dropping any fake front that he once fabricated in order to keep you in the relationship. Click here to read our 'Breaking Up & Dealing With a Narcissist' downloadable pdf ebooks brought to you by Tigress Luv.

Read more details on getting over and recovering from a narcissist in downloadable PDF's

About the Site Author

Design Blog Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru, has been writing about breakups, relationships, abuse, infidelity, CP, and narcissism for years. You may read more of her articles at Tigress Luv or Read some of her ebooks on narcissism here.

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Read our PDF reports on narcissism

Insightful and enlightening, our downloadable PDF's are informative and healing. You may find them here at 'getting over a narcissist', or click here to find links to read the first page of all four.

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Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru