Narcissist Much? Spotting a Narcissist BEFORE You End Up Feeding Him His Narcissistic Supply
By Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru
being with a narcissist for what seems like forever, I can now spot one a mile away.
They scream narcissism in every gesture they make.
In the beginning 'fake' stage -- the stage they use to catch you and soak up all their much-needed narcissistic supply from someone 'new', they are just too wonderful.
1) You have sooooo much in common.
2) If God had sent a man to Earth that He created just for you, this man would be it. It's as if he read your criteria for the perfect man.
3) They complement you and charm your stilettos right off your dainty feet.
4) They tell you tales of how horrible their past ex was.
5) They blindside you with talk of how successful/wonderful/worldly they are, and what great plans they have for the near future. And you'll be thinking you'll want to make damn well sure that you join him there.
6) They are very gregarious. Everybody likes them.
7) Wow, he sure does have some great stories! You haven't laughed this hard -- or been this entertained -- in ages.
8) Whatever qualities you look for in a man, this guy has them! He's sweet, courteous, compassionate, confident, a good listener... and spoils you rotten. He tells you how none of the women in his past/life have ever been truly as wonderful as you are.
And you soak all this up. You look up to him. You adore him. You worship him. You're walking on air and you can't help but feed him all the narcissistic supply he needs.
It doesn't take long for the narcissist in him to reveal itself.
1) Conversations; all about him.
2) He gets too easily offended.
3) He has rages.
4) He is never there for you. Ever.
5) He seems to have two sides ... the public side (Mr. Wonderful) and the private side -- hellboy.
6) He insults you, berates you, turns people against you.
7) You find yourself in a Catch-22. Damned if you do; damned if you don't.
8) You are mysteriously bled dry. Bank account depleted. Emotions stifled. Love subdued. Life is bleak. Mornings you drag yourself out of bed; evenings are spent wondering what 'you' did wrong.
This above information is for those who have never experienced a narcissist before. However, once you have experienced a narcissist, there is an imprint of hell stamped in your mind (and heart). You now have the gift of being the 'narcissist-spotter' at all social gatherings. He is the smug one. He is the one who really isn't paying attention to anybody else, but tries to give the impression that he is. He is the one that always manages to turn the conversation back around to him. And he is the one that makes a big entrance.
In addition to a million other little signs, that only a victim of a narcissist (like you are now) can pick up on.
And you just want to look at him and say, "narcissist much?"
But you don't. You understand that there is no use -- and no gain -- in confronting a narcissist about their narcissism.
So, do you narcissist much?
For more information on surviving a narcissist read my digital reports about my own, ten-year experience of living with a narcissist here, at my narcissist advice website, Breaking Up With Your Narcisist
Breaking up with a histrionic narcissist? Be prepared for the battle of your life! While you are an emotional basketcase, he is as Cold as Ice! While you are left holding down the fort and dealing with the real-life responsibilities, he walks away from everything leaving you to mop off his stage and pay his bills. He will punish you in ways you couldn't possibly have ever imagined...
....and not even acknowledge it to himself! Why? Because he's off charming the socks off of new women as if your years together didn't even exist!
The narcissistic ex continually acts in abusive, bewildering and confusing ways. He is not above committing destructive acts. When the breakup becomes a reality, it is likely that his 'false persona' will completely disappear all together and you will most likely experience the most hurtful of behavior from him. He is completely lacking in empathy, and - since he is not receiving any admiration from you anymore - he will dismiss you and discard you as worthless to him, consequently dropping any fake front that he once fabricated in order to keep you in the relationship. Click here to read our 'Breaking Up & Dealing With a Narcissist' downloadable pdf ebooks brought to you by Tigress Luv.